Final Dance
by sylv-vies
Summary: “Bella,” he whispered. “Yeah?” “I have to tell you something.” “After this song. I love this song.” “No. Now. Before I lose the nerve.” We always were horrible at goodbyes. Oneshot, All Human - now a two shot . . . cause I couldn't resist. XD
1. Chapter 1

stupid little ball of funny crazy pukey fluff.

enjoy, you rat suckers.

**Don't Own.**

* * *

I danced.

The music carried me, swayed my hips and led my feet. Pulsed through me.

His arms wrapped tight around my waist from behind. He smelled like after shave and beer.

Stupid Edward.

You know I lost my license last week.

Whatever.

The guitar in the background, the beat flowing up and out.

So much more important.

We danced our own dance, of no stress and today and no tomorrows.

This last party, our final stance, disappearing around us as it should, until it was only us and me and him.

Just carry me away like this until I forget about everything.

"Bella," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I have to tell you something."

"After this song. I love this song."

"No. Now. Before I lose the nerve."

"What?"

He tugged my hand, dragging me through the crowd and out the door before I could protest again.

He left me on the porch, walking forward with his hands tangled in his hair.

It was freezing out tonight. It didn't matter that it was summer. I could still see my breath.

"You're going." He said and I hugged my bare arms.

"Yeah. Tomorrow. You know all this already. Now you promised me that we wouldn't think about that tonight, that we'd just let loose –"

"Bella." He turned around.

"You can't go."

I sighed.

"I have to. It's college. We paid. And I've been waiting to get out of this godforsaken town for years. I can't just _not_ go."

He grimaced, and he pulled his hands across his face.

"Yes you can."

"Edward –"

"I won't let you go. You didn't go to camp that time when we were thirteen and you're not going now."

"We're not thirteen anymore."

"Yeah, we're eighteen, and you're even more dependent on me."

Heat bloomed in my cheeks. "Jerk."

He stared at me from the lawn, green eyes dark and intense.

"You won't go."

He stumbled in the grass.

I sighed again. "Edward, you're drunk."

"So?"

I walked down the porch steps and over to him, gripping his shoulders.

His eyes closed for a second and I took a moment to memorize his features. I had long since realized I was going to have to be the mature one and say goodbye first. Lead the way. That didn't mean it didn't hurt any less.

I hated this.

But I had to do it.

I mean, it wasn't like he was my boyfriend or anything – just, someone I wished was.

I shook those thoughts away.

You're best friends who are saying goodbye.

That's it.

So say goodbye already.

His lips puckered pitifully. "Don't leave Bell. You didn't even, even tell me your locker combination in tenth grade."

I smiled. "That's because I didn't need you to open my locker for me in tenth grade."

"I – don't go Bell. I need you. What about when you forget to set your alarm clock?"

"Aw, Edward. I'll have a roommate. And that's life, right? Being late and then making up the lost time?"

His expression didn't change.

"Please Edward. I have to go to college. You're going too, remember? I can't stay, we can't stay. We have to grow up."

His eyes opened, all wide and green and vulnerable and determined. "I'm going to grow up. I'm going to go to college. I'm just not going to do it without you."

And his frantic eyes stopped on my face and he leaned in.

It took me a moment.

He wasn't gentle. His lips pressed into my own too hard, mouth gaping. He tasted like beer and maybe Doritos and then this something else that was sweet and all around him. His hands cradled me face, angling it and stroking my cheeks with his thumbs.

I didn't know what this meant. It would change everything, surely. And for a brief moment, I was terrified. I was going to lose him. He was going to hate me.

Whatever.

I leaned into the kiss, clasping my hands around his neck and tangling my fingers in his hair.

A thought:

How perfect.

How right.

How I-fit-right-here-in-you-arms-even-if-you-do-need-to-seriously-brush-your-teeth.

And then he lurched backwards and threw up.

Short, sweet, and puke yellow all over the rose bush.

He straightened up, wiping his mouth. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

I hesitated. "Was that . . .?"

"I don't regret it. And hell, if we're dishing out secrets tonight anyway, I might as well serve the main course already. I've wanted to kiss you since we were eleven."

"Oh."

Ugh, god.

I was such a . . . ugh.

"Oh." I repeated.

He smiled. "You're speechless."

And then his smile turned bitter. "I shouldn't have done that. You don't – I know we're not – You're just –"

He brought his hands up to run through his hair again. He looked like he'd been electrocuted.

"I'm sorry." He said finally.

"Edward –"

"No! I am. I –"

He looked undecided for only a moment before his expression grew hard. Determined again.

"I love you Bell."

What?

Wait.

Just wait.

I.

Love.

You.

Bell.

I blinked.

He was waiting for my response, his jaw locked and his hands shoved into his pockets.

But all I could hear was:

I.

Love.

You.

Bell.

I.

Love.

You.

Bell.

Bell.

I.

You.

You.

And.

I.

I.

And.

You.

Love.

You.

I was trembling and then suddenly wanting him to kiss me again, to make it real. Seal the deal.

"Kiss me," I whispered.

His eyes grew wide. But as he stepped toward me this ridiculous grin spread across his face and then he had his arms wrapped around my waist and his tongue down my throat.

My toes tingled and curled and little jolts traveled up and down my spine.

My heart thudded in my chest.

Love.

You.

Love.

Love.

Love.

Love.

You.

Too.

I had to say it.

I reeled back, gasping and tugging on the ends of his hair, still trying to keep him closer.

"No, no, I, you can't think that I couldn't care about you like that, I mean that's stupid and Edward Edward Edward remember that sandcastle we build when we were nine, the one with the crooked flag and no mote and a race car as a knight and I hated it and then you said, "Bella, this is your castle!" and I pretended to like it. And you know why?"

I tugged on the ends of his hair again, our faces so close I was breathing his vomitty breath.

"Cause I love you."

And his lips were crashing into mine again.

He didn't taste like beer anymore. He tasted sour, all the strange sweetness gone.

But that didn't matter because he was Edward. And I loved him.

"Love you." He mumbled against my lips again. "Love you. So don't leave me. Let me come with you."

"Okay." I breathed back and we sank down into the grass.

His arms wrapped around me and he held me like he'd done thousands of times before. Except those thousand couldn't compare to this one embrace, under a starry sky and pukey rose bush.

His face pressed into my hair.

Our breathing was harsh in the quiet.

His laughter broke the silence suddenly, loud and exuberant.

"What?"

"You fell in love with me over a sandcastle?" He asked.

I scowled at him but he only laughed harder.

"I love you." I said again, just because I had to.

He was so . . . ugh.

The laughter stopped.

And he smiled and nodded down at me. "I kinda figured."

* * *

reviews equal love and the promise that i won't hunt you down and kill you in the middle of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

so my rat suckers. i just couldn't stay away. XD

no, this will not be a story or anything. but i just felt like i needed to do E's point of view.

i was right. i had **fun**. Choke on Self, chapter 9 will enter the fan fiction realm eventually. i'm a little busy with chorus and french shit right now. but fear not. it shall be uploaded eventually.

also, changed the title cause it was bugging me. eh.

**DON'T OWN.**

* * *

The crowds shifted and swerved in front of me.

Lights were dim.

Music was blaring.

And I was almost out of beer.

I downed the last of it.

A party. Yeah, one of those house ones with the kegs and shit. And not just any party.

It was our "Graduation" party.

Fucking pointless.

We'd make our own goodbyes.

But damn, Alice sure had out done herself.

The house was lit up like some deranged Christmas snow globe, strings of lights laced around the walls. There were little streamers hanging from the ceiling, green and silver and blue. People dancing and jerking to the music, card games in the corners.

Our final bash.

Because, let's face it here folks;

We were going.

Ah fuck.

Beer.

You need a beer Cullen.

I pulled myself up from my chair and over to the food table.

Just one more.

I grabbed two, weaving through the moving bodies back to my seat.

My chair had been invaded.

Jessica perched on one arm, chattering away at Newton who was leaning against the cushions.

Great. Of all the chairs in this house, they had to pick the one that had been known to all as mine since seventh grade.

Just, _fuck._

Whatever Cullen. Go find your crew and act like a merry little graduate. Dance or something. Don't be a wallflower.

I scanned the room, spotting Jasper by the front window.

I started over to him, thankful that he was out in the open, easy for me to find.

J was my right hand man. We'd known each other since elementary. Comrades, we were. Lifelong best friends together resisting the unattainable, the forbidden fruits that we could never taste –

I stopped in my tracks, dead center of the dance floor.

Jasper was leaning against the window frame, looking down and grinning some charming grin. It was the smile he put on when wooing whatever girl, but somehow, I'd never seen it quite as bright and happy and true as tonight.

His eyes were hooded and glued to the petite girl in front of him.

Well, ah, shucks.

He bit the fucking apple.

Ain't that nice.

Jazz gets his girl and Eddie is left with . . .

Beer.

Dartmouth.

A hard on.

Fucking Jasper.

But still.

He was chatting up Alice. And he's had the hots for her since at least eighth grade.

Drastic, drastic, drastic.

Why, J, are you doing this?

Aren't you the one who always says to not let your emotions get the best of you? That they're just hormones and that I don't really love her, it's just I've known her forever and just think I do. That she's not my everything; she's just everything I've ever known.

Damnitt.

I hit the cap of the beer bottle on a table and took a long swig.

Rushing liquid slithered and burned down my throat.

I couldn't taste it.

Garbage's "Cherry Lips" sounded through the speakers.

I was searching for her immediately.

She loved this damn song.

God. Adored it.

It was so cute to watch her dance around her room in my shirt with a hair brush as a mike.

Where was she?

Aw, c'mon, where are you?

I ran out of the living room and into the kitchen, and then back into the living room. Up the stairs, check the bathroom, fuck.

Hello?

Where are you?

I slumped against the banister.

Damnitt.

I hated this, hated when I couldn't find her. It made me anxious, it made me angry, it made me frustrated.

It also made me feel stupid.

I'd just run through an entire God forsaken house looking for the damn girl. And she just wasn't there.

I sighed, running a hand through me hair.

The view was different up here.

The lights and the people below – easier to distinguish.

But still, no mass of brown curls wobbling around on the outskirts.

I ran my hand through my hair again.

I needed to stop thinking about this.

We'd hang out later tonight.

And then tomorrow we'd wake up too early and ride down to McDonalds for breakfast.

But then the next day? What would that be like? A summer without her . . .

I couldn't fathom that. I couldn't remember a time, a day, where she wasn't with me. Wasn't by my side and tugging on my hair and sharing a pair of earphones with me. Wasn't driving me absolutely insane with her complete obliviousness to all the important things . . . and her attention to detail on all the little ones.

And wasn't I supposed to stop thinking about her?

Gah.

I was hopeless.

Hopeless and hopelessly in –

No, it would hurt too much to finalize.

I'd admitted it to myself, sure.

But that was in the darkness of my room. Not when she was potentially so close . . .

God, where was she?

And like a little miracle, she stumbled up the stairs.

All smiles and messy curls and these big, big, bright eyes.

A grin tugged on the corners of my lips.

She reached me and leaned against the banister next to me.

"Hey stranger," she murmured breathlessly. "I've been looking for you."

"Dito." I smiled.

"Did you really just say ditto?"

"Yes. Where were you?"

She picked at the hem of her shirt. I took that moment to, um, see what she was wearing (check her out). Dark blue jeans, and shit, they were tight ones she'd got with Alice too, black tank top and the regular Docs.

She'd had those things since fucking eighth grade.

"Uh, I was with Ali. But then Jazz showed up and he got this sparkly, evil look in his eye – and then he sort of swooped in and took over."

"Fucking Jasper,"

"Yeah. But you can't really blame him. Ali did get all dolled up tonight. I should know. She took me dress shopping yesterday for three hours. But still. She looks fantastic."

"Um, sure. But I'm her brother. I don't really notice those types of things."

"You should. C'mon Edward. Be nice for once. Give you're older sister a compliment! Hey, is this . . . it is! But, aw, shit, it's nearly over."

"Doesn't matter." I held up my arm. "Dance with me?"

She raised an eyebrow (thick eyebrows, but not bushy). "Seriously?"

"Um, no? I'm asking you because I just love the sound of my own voice –"

"Shut up." And she linked her arm around mine.

We made our way back down the stairs.

"There we go. And Alice is older than me by- what? – three minutes?"

"Four," she smirked.

"Whatever." And I pulled her onto the dance floor.

Four beers and seven songs later, we were still there.

She was sweating and sexy and I was so not sober anymore.

And fuck I wanted to kiss her.

All over.

Just, please.

And she didn't even realize that her ass was grinding into my groin.

Stupid, stupid, glorious girl.

Her hair smelled like strawberries and I could just feel the exposed skin around her waist where her shirt had ridden up.

And the music.

All around us were these pulsing bodies and this _music_ that wrapped around us and squeezed us tight against each other, where no one could get us, reach us.

Bella.

Bella.

Bella.

And then I knew that if not trying would be the worst mistake of my life.

"Bella," I said into her ear.

"Yeah?"

"I have to tell you something."

"After this song. I love this song."

"No. Now. Before I lose the nerve."

"What?"

I pulled her away and out the door.

It was cold, but I just didn't feel it.

I dropped her hand, leaving her on the porch as I stepped forward in the lawn.

What was I doing?

How do I – Cause really, I'd never done this.

Bella.

Damnitt.

Bella, how do I tell you?

My hands went to my hair.

Cause if I don't tell you, I'll lie up every night for the rest of my life wondering about what could have been. And I'll get old and shrivel and die and you will too and where's the justice in that? It's too short, this life business, it's too messy.

Damnitt Bell. Why do we all have to go?

"You're going," I said, cause it was the only thing I could.

"Yeah. Tomorrow. You know all this already. Now you promised me that we wouldn't think about that tonight, that we'd just let loose –"

Yes, I know what I promised, but Bella, you're leaving and you can't, can't, can't go.

This is the end and I'm holding on as tight as I can.

"Bella." I turned around, needing to see her.

She stood there, shivering.

"You can't go."

She sighed. "I have to. It's college. We paid. And I've been waiting to get out of this godforsaken town for years. I can't just _not_ go."

I cringed and my hands went to rub at my forehead.

But you can leave me.

No, you're not leaving.

"Yes, you can."

"Edward-"she tried.

"I won't let you go. You didn't go to camp that time when we were thirteen and you're not going now."

"We're not thirteen anymore."

"Yeah, we're eighteen, and you're even more dependent on me."

She blushed pink and muttered "Jerk,"

Always insulting me.

Always there.

Always, always, forever, always.

She can't leave.

You can't.

You just can't, because you need me just as much as I need you.

"You won't go."

I stepped forward and my foot gave out.

"Edward," she sighed again. "You're drunk."

Damn right I was.

"So?"

And then she was in front of me with her hands resting my shoulders. So close, looking up at me with these sad, brown eyes. She bit her lip nonchalantly.

My eyes slid closed and she was quiet.

Oh, Bell.

God, please.

I just, I can't.

This is what I want.

So, Damnitt, stay with me.

"Don't leave Bell. You didn't even, even tell me your locker combination in tenth grade."

"That's because I didn't need you to open my locker for me in tenth grade."

"I – don't go Bell. I need you. What about when you forget to set your alarm clock?"

"Aw, Edward. I'll have a roommate. And that's life, right? Being late and then making up for lost time?"

How could I convince her?

How?

God, maybe it was pointless.

Maybe we were just . . . meaningless.

"Please Edward," she begged. "I have to go to college. You're going too, remember? I can't stay, we can't stay. We have to grow up."

Grow up.

Grow up, she says.

She's got to be kidding me.

My eyes flew open and met with hers. Deep and brown and she looked like she was concentrating too hard on something. And I can't give you up.

"I'm going to grow up. I'm going to go to college. I'm just not going to do it without you."

And it was true.

I just couldn't do it without her.

Anything, take anything, just not her.

And I leaned in and kissed her.

I didn't think.

Not about all the beer I'd drank or how maybe I was being just a little too rough.

I just . . . kissed.

And she was sweet and soft and leaning into me and she was going and so help me God I couldn't have that.

I jerked backwards and everything bubbled and boiled until –

I threw up.

All over the rose bush.

Shit.

I straightened, swiping my hand across my mouth. "Sorry." I murmured.

"It's okay."

I looked up at her.

Her eyes were open wide and she seemed a little dazed. Kinda scared.

And a lot confused.

I cringed.

"Was that . . . ?" She asked.

I caught her meaning. "I don't regret it. And hell, if we're dishing out secrets tonight anyway, I might as well serve the main course already. I've wanted to kiss you since we were eleven."

"Oh."

This wasn't registering with her.

"Oh." She repeated.

I smiled. "You're speechless."

But did she – did she want me to kiss her?

Christ.

No.

She didn't.

Why else would she just be standing there, like that?

Moron.

You stupid, stupid son of bitch.

"I shouldn't have done that. You don't – I know we're not – You're just –"My hands went to my hair.

Just apologize already, you fucker.

"I'm sorry," I spat out.

"Edward –"

"No! I am. I –"

And then I decided that if I was already gonna get hurt, I might as well get hurt badly.

"- I love you Bell."

Her face went all blank and shocked and I shoved my hands in my pockets, bracing for rejection.

But there was . . . nothing.

She just stared at me.

Her mouth opening and closing.

Fingers clenching.

And she just looked so taken aback. Like she'd been thrown far off the road she'd always followed.

But then her mouth hardened and she did say something.

"Kiss me," and it was barely louder than a whisper.

But I caught it.

And it was weird and off and I never thought I'd hear her say that so I was in front of her with my mouth over hers before I could waste any more time.

My blood burned and she clasped her hands around my neck. Her chest pressed tight against my own and she was in my arms and our tongues had a field day and I couldn't stop thinking how much I _loved this fucking girl. _

She pulled back, pulling at the ends of my hair.

"No, no, I, you can't think that I couldn't care about you like that, I mean that's stupid and Edward Edward Edward remember that sandcastle we build when we were nine, the one with the crooked flag and no mote and a race car as a knight and I hated it and then you said, "Bella, this is your castle!" and I pretended to like it. And you know why?"

She pulled my face closer, so our noses were touching.

"Cause I love you."

Ah, thank you Jesus.

And I kissed her again, because I had to.

"Love you." I mumbled against her lips again. "Love you. So don't leave me. Let me come with you."

"Okay," she breathed and I dragged her down to sit on the grass.

I let my cheek rest on her hair.

We were quiet.

But then I laughed.

"What?"

"You fell in love with me over a sandcastle?"

She glowered at me and I laughed louder.

But then: "I love you." She said.

I looked down at her.

All tired and beautiful and she wasn't going.

She was with me now.

She was mine.

And then I nodded and grinned.

"I kinda figured."

* * *

i really, really, really enjoy calling you all rat suckers. let's see if anyone but me gets the joke. XD

special cyber cookies if you review?


End file.
